Grace in Repetition
My standards for myself are not the same anymore.
Dancing has taught me so much about myself. God has used it to nudge things in me I didn’t even know needed healing. Moments where I could hear Him whisper: “Do you see what you’re doing to yourself here?”
He was pointing to how I treated myself in the process.
How I wasn’t giving myself grace to learn.
In corporate settings, I prided myself on learning fast.
My comprehension was sharp. My execution, precise.
I was used to understanding things quickly and doing them well.
But dancing?
That was different.
Learning to dance has been both fun and challenging. It pushed me out of my comfort zone just enough to stretch me—but never so much that I wanted to quit.
Still, the last two years came with frustration. Not because of the dancing itself. But because I expected myself to learn at the same pace I did at work.
That voice in my head said:
“You’re not learning fast enough.”
“You should have this down by now.”
I didn’t need a critic—I had my own internal checklist.
Constantly updated with every perceived failure.
Then one day, I decided to do a test:
What if I just allowed myself to keep learning… and ignored the checklist?
So I went to dance.
I focused on the moment.
I focused on what my instructor said.
And something shifted.
My confidence started to grow—not because I was suddenly good, but because I gave myself permission to learn.
Learning took repetition.
The first time I tried a pattern, I was awful.
Even by the fourth time, I was still stumbling.
But little by little, something clicked.
Not just in my mind, but in my body.
Repetition started to turn confusion into muscle memory.
Each drop of understanding became a small victory.
Each moment of grace made space for growth.
It was so easy to berate myself after that first failure.
But no one else expected perfection—only me.
And honestly? That expectation was never fair.
I had no prior dance training.
I don’t dance eight hours a day.
And unlike my job—where I’ve had 15+ years of experience—this was new.
All this to say:
Time is grace you can give yourself.
You don’t need to rush to be good.
You just need to keep showing up.
Be the fire,
Gaudy